The Counseling Center

I feel like the counseling center has gotten bashed a lot on this site. I'm just speaking for myself, but I have had many fantastic experiences with the counseling center. They have helped me immensely in dealing with some of the emotional issues I have already posted about. I'm sure there are many ways that the counseling center can be improved and we’ve already read about people who are "embarrased" or "disappointed" in their services. I don't discourage people from trying to improve the counseling center, but I just wanted to point out that many people DO have good experiences with SU's counselors and not everyone has negative experiences.

I'd encourage anyone who does want emotional support or help dealing with anything to go see a counselor here. It could even be a “silly” or “stupid” issue. I know I had a couple “trivial” things I talked to counselors about. What's the worst that could happen? If you have a bad experience, you just stop going and you've maybe wasted a few hours of your life. The possible benefits, however, can be immense - so don’t be discouraged from seeking professional help at SU just because others have had bad experiences. Also, the counselors here ARE professionals. They may not be perfect, but generally they know what they’re talking about because this is the job they went to school and got trained for. Counseling was a very emotionally difficult and upsetting process for me (as I’m sure it is for anyone), but when I was done my entire life was improved and I could approach every day with more confidence and self-assurance. My relationships with other people became better, more fulfilling, and satisfying. I am more full of life and I am who I am today (and someone I can be proud of) because of the counseling center and how much they helped me. The counselors there helped me immensely during very difficult and stressful times in my life. Hopefully they can help other people as much as they helped me. There's no other time in your life where you'll have absolutely free mental health services, so I'd suggest at least trying it out.

How we responded to Dean Tyree

Dear Dean Tyree:
Dr. Hardin has told us that you emailed him. Thank you for acknowledging our concerns. We are interested in meeting, perhaps as a group during presidents hours, and appreciate your efforts to set up an open conversation with President Lemons. In anticipation of such a meeting, we would like to formally submit some of the issues that have been made manifest so far in the blog. In some cases, there may be a simple answer that we are not aware of, and in others, we would like to raise concerns so that President Lemons can come to the meeting fully prepared. We assume that the administration will be able to help us in a cooperative environment where all parties can be heard and acknowledged. We are posting this letter on line and forwarding to Dr. Hardin so that he can forward it to you personally. We respect your decision not to join the blog; our reasons for posting this is to let our members see that their issues are being raised, and that if we have failed to address any of them, they might add to this list or ideally, attend the open conversation with President Lemons.
Of course, you are still welcome here, and we do understand how much you care. Sometimes, however, it seems that the humanity can be lost in the bureaucracy.
Sincerely,
The DL
These issues are in no particular order.
First, could you please explain the policy and the reasoning on Blue Lights?
Second, based on the accounts of a number of the students who have posted, it seems that the school’s policy on psychological disorders and treatment needs review. It may simply be an issue of misunderstanding, but it seems counterproductive if there is a punitive element for any student seeking psychological help.
Third, create a venue for the anonymous reporting of rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, homophobia, racism, etc. It is great that you have the new Sexual Assault Victims unit here at SU, with 10 caring faculty members, but can we extened that to victims of "hate crimes" also? This would not be intended as a legal venue for punishing the offenders, since we understand the democratic right to confront one’s accuser, but we do feel that the university needs to fully understand the extent that such issues occur in order for it to best address allocate its efforts in making this a better university.
Fourth, consider the designation of hate crime. While it might seem trivial to someone else, for a person who has been victimized because of race, sexuality, gender, etc, it is important for those who have been victimized simply for who they are that the community understand WHY it happened. What will it take to get hate crime rules in the public safety lawbook?
Fifth, address the issue of the class disparity and antagonism on campus. If the school is going to admit working class students, then it should seek to make us feel welcome, not as charity cases or in some way inferior. What can we do to raise scholarships and grants with the tuition raise?
Sixth, we need to find a real solution for the undercurrent of racial tension here. This was made quite evident last year in the school paper, and it does not seem to have been solved, merely hushed. We have no solutions, but would like to see the process toward a fully integrated SU community continue. How can we increase diversity on campus? What areas would be good to target to bring in multicultural students, and faculty.
Seventh, the blog has made it clear that our GLBT students still, in 2006, at a liberal arts university, feel that they have to remain in the closet. Part of this is the problem of the other students who make comments, threats and even hostile actions against the GLBT community; we understand that the administration is not responsible for that. However, we believe that if the administration is more visible in its active support of the GLBT community, such intolerance will have fewer spaces to hide, and the students will feel safer in voicing their fears.
Seven is a good beginning. We know this is an ambitious list, but we did not start the blog to make cosmetic changes. We want to see change. We want to feel heard. We want to know that our school cares about our lives, not just our G.P.A.s. We love this school—we wouldn’t invest so much of ourselves in the DL if we didn’t.
The DL.

A GREAT OPPORTUNITY!

Alot of you have asked what you can do to help--here is a great chance to get involved

Date: 4/5/2006 12:32:00 AMAuthor: Johnson, Brian (johnsonb@susqu.edu)Susquehanna University has dirty laundry!Susquehanna University isn't doing anything about diversity!The administration doesn't care!What are YOU willing to do about it?Students interested in being a part of changing our campus culture are invited to join the Peer Diversity Trainers corps. PDTs are students trained in the facilitation of dynamic conversations about diversity. They lead discussion groups, experiential activities aimed at increasing consciousness and awareness, and promoting intercultural relationships.Is this the only way to impact the culture--NO! But, it is one way to begin making a difference!A new training series begins on April 10th. Interested and committed students who want to build a better SU should contact Erin Bunger, university assistant for the Office of Multicultural Affairs at bunger@susqu.edu or at x4037.

A new email

I have the general outlook in life that shit happens, especially in college. There is no "perfect place for you" like many college counselors want you to believe. There are dozens of things I could complain about. I feel like this story portays a lot of the things that happen here.Last year I was placed in a single room in a house on the ave. It was a great room, 2 windows, 2 closets. The company wasn't so great. It was 6 other girls, all who knew each other very well. One was on of the RAs on the Ave.The second weekend back at school in the fall I was awaken at 3 am to my door being opened an my light turned on. The lock on the door wasn't very good, if it wasn't in the exact right spot it didn't do any good. Another girl from my house had just walked into my room. She headed to my closet and I said "what the heck are you doing in here". She said "oh sorry" turned of the light, and proceeded to shut herself in my closet. She was in there for three or four minutes, i heard all my things falling down. I was shaking and terrified. After a few minutes, she managed to get out of the closet and left my room. I called my Dad, even though it was the middle of the night, crying. Colleges are supposed to be safe.The next morning I approached the girl. She was "slightly intoxicated" as she put it. And didn't remeber much. SHe said she was tryign to find the bathroom and though my closet was it. Great - a strange girl may have urinated in my closet.I e-mailed several RAs on the Ave to let them know what had happened. I asked for a stronger lock to be put on my. The told me the lock would be fixed and they would talk to the girl, she wouldn't get away with it. Apparently the truth isn't important and neither is having respect for other people. I was told my lock could not be fixed and they never spoke to the girl.I know much worse things have happened on this campus. I just want to know why people get away with showing such little respect for others? I'm upset that good people lose themselves and their strength to drunks, poor leaders, and in general disrespectful people.

~An anonymous email

DEAR DEAN TYREE....

Dear Dean Tyree:
Thank you for your expressions of support and concern in the Crusader article. This post will seek to address the questions that you raised.

First and foremost, we feel that it is necessary to maintain the anonymity of those who post. While the potential does exist for passive aggressive postings, we believe that the benefit to those who otherwise feel utterly alienated from the process and those who fear some form of reprisal warrants our commitment to them, even if they wish to remain anonymous. People are clearly scared.

Secondly, you seem to equivocate about the administration’s role. If, as you suggest, it is the students’ responsibility, then is this not what we are doing? However, we do believe that we cannot do this alone, that without some form of faculty or administration assistance, the problems that may only be felt by a small number of students simply will not garner enough student interest to create policy.

Third, we are working on a strategy to create solutions. One idea that we are considering is a university forum or panel, where students (members of the DL who are willing to identify themselves) and faculty and administration will sit down and work out real solutions. However, for this to mean anything, it would have to have the power to create legislation, not merely “talk.” The DL is meant to be the “talk” stage. Our next goal is action.


Fourth, in reponse to the suggestion that a blog cannot create or support change, we would remind people that the pamphlet wars of the 1770s greatly coalesced public opinin behind the revolution and mobilized the people to war. And among northern whites, abolitionist opinion was often generated and disseminated by white women writing letters to each other. Can we PROMISE that our blog will change how people act at SU, no; in that, the Dean is correct. However, what we can promise is if we don't try, NO ONE ELSE WILL.


One topic which has come up that we cannot deal with on our own is the question of how the university treats students with psychological disorders. We understand that the university has certain legal responsibilities, but is there a way to give students greater support, allow greater anonymity, and remove any specter of reprisal if a student harms him-/herself.

This letter is only intended to be the first word in what we hope in an ongoing and productive conversation. We are emailing you a formal invitation to join the blog. And clearly, we would love to extend this invitation to any administration or faculty member who would like to participate.


Sincerely,
Your students in the DL

What's next for the DL???

OK, here is the update as requested by cabinthree.

1.) The administration and the students couldn't have missed the first posting even if they wanted to. I recieved emails from capus directors asking about it befor eit even got launched. I also got word that my initial email (sans my name) got forwarded to the business office, and many academic parties on campus. They knew it was coming basically.
2.) I agreed to an interview with the school newspaper about the project. That happened last week and the article will be out on Friday. Should be good to re-PR the project.
3.)Tim Barnes had agreed to meet with people last night from the DL. Anyone willing to chime in that was there and tell us what happened? I could not be there, I had another meeting I had to be at. Sorry.
4.) THERE WILL BE ANOTHER POST! the cleansweep apologizes, the cleansweep lost a little bit of speed and didn't get to post on Sunday night. The new Tshirts (and probably some of the old ones) will be posted shortly (since its a covert operation, I won't say when, but email me if you want to help hang.) around campus.
5.) This is where you guys come in. What do you want this project to accomplish? My main goal in starting it was spring cleaning of issues, we've done a good start on that. What do you want to see happen? A campus meeting? An apology to the people who have been wronged by the people who wronged them? It will be difficult, but you name it and as a whole, as a community, as a group of people who give a shit about other people, we can do it.

Thank you all for you undying participation. I'm thrilled to see people helping people!
~thecleansweep

Food for Thought

Research by Adams, Wright, and Lohr (1996) showed that men who are highly homophobic are more likely than other men to show homoerotic arousal. The researchers hypothesized that homophobia and hypermasculinity were (maladaptive) defenses against their own homosexual feelings and desires. People who are especially vocal about their hatred for the LGBT community may be responding to their fear and discomfort about their own conscious or unconscious same-sex fantasies.

What your parents tell you about bullies is true – they put down other people because they are insecure about themselves.

Sexual Orientation is NOT a Choice

As a bisexual, I am often frustrated by the question “Is homosexuality or bisexuality a choice?” No, it is not a choice. Consider the following questions: “What do you think caused your heterosexuality?” “If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it not possible that all you need is a good gay lover?” These questions sound absurd, but people ask the LGBT community equally ridiculous questions all the time. If you are straight, you probably can’t imagine being any other sexual orientation. If being straight is natural to you and biological in origin, why wouldn’t homosexuality and bisexuality be formed by the same forces? Why would someone chose to be a hated minority? In our heterosexist society, everyone is assumed to be straight, so it may appear that LGBT people chose their sexual orientation if and when they come out. But no one chooses who they are attracted to. The choice is in how someone deals with their sexual orientation and whether they decide to be true to themselves or to conform to mainstream society.

Task force meeting

there's a meeting with Timothy Barnes, the president of SGA, to discuss the new no tolerance policy soon to be implemented by the presidential task force on diversity that will rule over threats, rapes, etc... and what it entails. The meeting is Monday at 6:00pm in the SGA office which is across from Charlie's in Degenstein. Let other people know about this so that they can come and ask him other questions pertaining to the DL. I don't think he would mind others coming. If people cannot attend and do have questions please have them send me an email so that I can ask them and get back to them with answers.~from an email

WHY THIS IS HAPPENING

I was recently asked why I go to SU if I am so adamantly against SU. I am not against SU in any way shape or form. This is a community that has the potential to be amazing, if it stops keeping so many secrets. its about stopping those secrets so that the campus can live up to its full student body potential.

I was sexually molested by my godbrother throughout my childhood. He touched me, constantly walked in on me changing, and he would sneak into my room in the middle of the night to remove my clothes. I couldn't confront him - it wasn't in my nature and he was a boy. Girls aren't supposed to tell boys "no." So instead I would try to resist passively. I would gather my sheets tightly around me and cling to them with all my strength when he tried to remove them. I would try to act like I was about to wake up. He didn't want me to wake up - sleeping girls can't say no.

I never told my parents. I felt dirty and sinful and guilty. I thought my parents would blame me for allowing him to do this to me, for being submissive, for letting this start in the first place. I was afraid they'd blame me for waiting so long, for letting him get away with so much. I silently bore my sorrows, not wanting the heroes of my life to see me as the dirty, shameful, weak little girl I thought I was.

I do not have to let this damage my soul, my self esteem, and my ability to love and experience joy. I do not have to be silent and bear my misery alone. These events have changed me and allowed me to grow, but they do not define who I am.

My brother is an angry person. A violent person. He kicks holes in the walls when something upsets him. He has a quick temper and his moods are volatile and unpredictable. I have been a victim of that anger. Once, a few days after I got in a car accident, my brother beat me. I packed and tried to leave, but he ran after me. When I attempted to drive away, my mom stood in front of the car and refused to let me leave. She believed him over me. To this day she thinks I lied about it just to hurt my brother.

Later, I got into another argument with him and he warned me that since he is now over twenty-one that I should be careful. He said any adult could own a gun and for all I know he slept with one under his pillow, so I shouldn't anger him. Both my parents were in the room and for some reason they still don't believe he would ever hurt me. I filed for a Peace Order that would legally forbid my brother from contacting me. Again, my parents chose him over me. They thought he was the victim because I had betrayed the family by going to the police.

At court the judge dismissed my case. He did not believe my life had been threatened or was in danger. He practically laughed at me. I was petrified of my brother and afraid for my life, but the "justice" system did nothing.

On the Fringes

I am a bisexual female and proud of it. I am in a heterosexual relationship and am getting married when I graduate. Straight people criticize me for lusting after women. Gay people call me a traitor because I'm marrying a man. The bisexual community? Well, frankly, there isn't one. The University's theme this year is "On the Fringes." I'm on the fringes of both the heterosexual and homosexual communities. I feel loved and accepted by many people in both communities, but at the end of the day I'm still vaguely on the outside looking in.

I avoid being on campus at all costs.
If I do not share the same values, if I am interested in issues facing our nation, our campus, or our world and express them in a unique way, I feel like I am not a part of this student community.

The University’s standards for students are painfully low.

There is an intense lack of diversity (racial, cultural, socio-economic, religious, sexual, opinions, ideas, ways of viewing the world) on this campus.
And most students seem to love their safe little bubble.

I feel judged on campus for being different.

And just to get this in: Bush makes me want to be a terrorist, Vaginas are beautiful, and the CIA is now after me.
~ an anonymous email

blue light phones

Question: Why doesn't the campus get bluelight phones if it is concerned about rape? Answer: The last reason I heard was because it would make the campus appear to be unsafe. We don't want the campus to feel unsafe to people. ~ An Alumni womenspeak members response

I was raped at Susquehanna University.
It wasn't date rape.
I didn't know him before that night.
It was violent.
I had bruises and teeth marks.
Though the school addressed the issue, professors of mine, men who I believed would be understanding, dismissed me and my case entirely.
They dropped my grades due to my absence on the days I spent crying in the police station, in my best friends houses, potentially outside of your dorm room. Looking for the hours lost, trying to recount the places I had been.
Where can a student turn if her mentors are turning their backs?
Where can a student seek solace when the person who raped her was allowed to stalk the campus for another month, even though the police & public safety were involved, before being tried by the judicial board?
WHAT DOES SU REALLY PROTECT?
ITS STUDENTS, OR ITS REPUTATION?

An anonomous email

bardmaster said...
Since seventh grade, I have been called a fag, queer, flamer, queer, gay, etc at least once a week at school. People never understood how much that hurt me every time they said this. I have thought about killing myself many times in high school due to all of this name calling and harassment. I knew that I was gay, but I wasnt really allowed to come out due to all the homophobia in the area. I thought that I would escape it here, but my first roommates were afraid of homosexuals. I was shunned from them and their friends. I also thought aobut killing myself durring this time too. Now I know that there are people who do care about me, and are able to accept me for who I am.HOMOPHOBIA HURTS.HOMOPHOBIA IS PAINFUL.HOMOPHOBIA CAN LEAD TO SCUICIDE.
6:50 PM

This is the Dirty Laundry (or DL) Project. It is created to get things off the DL and out in the air at Susquehanna University. Anyone may and is encouraged to contribute to the blog or the Schools public space (namely bulletin boards in campus buildings) You may be anonymous, or you may say who you are. You may tell a specific instance or a general feeling. You can talk about gender, race, age, drinking, rape, drug use, anything you see fit that doesn't get discussed or doesn't get discussed honestly. It is a place for the people who feel persecuted and a place for the alleged or accused perpetrators to discuss. It is a site not for the competition of whose problem is bigger, but to get at the bigger problem. It is an open forum and a solution to the silence of SU. Please pass this site on to friends. Let's keep a written record, an ongoing dialogue so that no one can forget or be silenced anymore. If you are new and have not been invited to post, you may either post a comment and I will copy and paste it as its own post, or email it to me at butafly165@aol.com~clean sweep